How to Deal With Armchair Quarterbacks
A friend of mine is the Director of Performance for an NBA basketball team. He told me recently that when he walks into the locker room at halftime during a game, he’s shocked to see how many players are looking at their phones to see what fans are saying about them on social media. I have to admit—I’m shocked as well. These professional athletes know far more about the game than fans do, but often place their emotional wellbeing into the hands of critics.
Most of those critics are “armchair quarterbacks.”
This phrase is a perfect description for what’s happening today. It’s the person who doesn’t actually play football, who may be overweight and eating a bag of Cheetos in his easy chair, but he’s blasting away at the coach or the players who should be performing better.
The Growth of Armchair Quarterbacks Today
There’s never been a time in modern history when leaders have received so much criticism than today. One misstep and everyone seems to come out of the woodwork to chastise and correct that leader. Nothing short of flawless will do. Can you say: “cancel culture?”
Why is this?
We’re experiencing a perfect storm of elements that multiply these armchair quarterbacks. First, social media has enabled millions to post their opinions while hiding behind a screen. They may not know what they’re talking about, but platforms like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok provide anyone the opportunity to weigh in. Second, people today have higher education levels and feel they know more than past generations did about what should happen. When I began my career, the foreman was the only one in the factory with a college degree. Not today. Third, people are exposed to more information each day, and they see the “dirt” on notable leaders instantly. This has created a culture of suspicion instead of trust.
It has also created a world where leaders don’t know who to listen to anymore.
Who Should Get Your Attention?
I believe in lifelong learning; in maintaining a teachable spirit and knowing that anyone can teach me something. I also believe in using discretion. There are two kinds of people who should gain the most attention from a leader:
The person who’s done it before.
The person who’s got boots on the ground.
I listen most to others who’ve already done what I do. I’m not suggesting they must work in the same industry or have an identical track record, but they understand what I’m going through. They’ve been there before. Research psychologist Brene Brown was inspired, as I was, by Teddy Roosevelt’s statement about The Man in the Arena: “It is not the critic that counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…” Brown explains her response: “If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback. If you have constructive feedback you want to give me, I want it…but if you’re in the cheap seats, not putting yourself on the line, and just talking about how I can do it better, I’m in no way interested in your feedback.”
The “boots on the ground” people don’t have to be positioned leaders, just people who are in the thick of the job that needs to get done. They frequently have greater visibility on what could improve your current methods since they have “experiential knowledge” not merely “academic knowledge.” Because we live in a day where information far outweighs experience, people suffer from “artificial maturity.” It looks real but isn’t based on anything but cognitive input. Social psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger discovered the Dunning Kruger Effect in 1999. In addition to the primary take-aways about performance, these researchers discovered that when someone gains a little knowledge about a topic, they become far more confident than a person who’s learned more and now can see how much more there is to learn.
Ten Tips to Take the Hit and the Heat
Leaders are like lightning rods. They attract the strike from critics and must ground it so that the organization isn’t harmed. When criticism comes, I suggest the following responses:
1. Listen and learn from everyone.
We've all heard the phrase: Even a broken clock is right two times a day. Stay open for input.
2. Understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.
Consider the source. Do they want to help you or hurt you? Do they have a redemptive tone?
3. Recognize that people act out what they experience inside.
Hurting people naturally hurt people. Intimidated people intimidate. It may not be about you.
4. Remember that even good people get criticized.
The finest leaders in history were attacked. Every last one of them. You’re in good company.
5. Don’t just see the critic, see the crowd.
Don’t let minority rule. Are many others feeling the same way or is the critic isolated?
6. Eat the fish and spit out the bones.
Digest the criticism and act on anything accurate. Improve what you can. Discard the rest.
7. Ask for feedback from those who’ve done it and those with boots on the ground.
To balance armchair quarterbacks, seek out input from those you trust who have experience.
8. Act don’t react. Don’t get defensive.
Don’t let their emotion dictate yours. Thank them for their opinions. Take the high road.
9. Seek wise counsel from others.
Consult with those who see the big picture. Find what kernels of truth might be in the criticism.
10. Concentrate on your mission, change your mistakes.
Many leaders get so frazzled when criticized that they do the opposite. Focus on your goal.
Truth be told, leaders really are quarterbacks. They’re spurring teammates on, handing the ball off so their team can score. Armchair quarterbacks are often pretenders or posers, as they sit on their sofa. I’m not saying they’re useless…they can always go grab another bag of chips.