Helping Team Members Stop Making Excuses at Work
I’ve written several blogs about a growing mentality in our country. I see it in young and old. This mindset is expanding, and it’s damaging our people. For many, it’s ruining their lives.
Millions of people today feel like a victim and embrace a victim mindset.
Consider this data. The number one motivation for voters in the last presidential election was that of a “victim.” Political commercials told viewers the other party had victimized them, and now justice should be done. Both parties said so. Not only commercials but social media posts convince people of their underdog status. People see themselves as victims of a broken system, a broken home, a broken relationship, or a broken spirit. They feel disadvantaged. Even though we live much better than people did a hundred years ago or even people today who live in a developing nation, we’re less happy. Consider how millions of Americans live their lives:
Research says almost one out of two marriages ends in divorce.
It’s reported that three out of four adults are overweight.
42% are said to be clinically obese.
More than 80% say they are unhappy with their work life.
Six out of 10 report having less than $500 in savings.
Only 38% describe themselves as “satisfied.”
Only 14% describe themselves as “very happy with life.”
52% report feeling lonely.
Research finds that someone completes suicide almost every 11 minutes.
When we feel like a victim of our circumstances, we begin believing we can’t catch a break. And we deserve one. Someone owes us a perk since we’ve been wronged. My wife recently visited a coffee shop where only one barista served a long line of customers. When my wife asked why the staff person was working solo, she replied, “Everyone else called in for a PTO day.” One excused herself saying, “I’m requesting PTO because I got ‘crunk’ last night and need a mental health day.” This left the one responsible team member who came ready to work in need of managing two shifts and covering for her irresponsible teammates.
Someone’s irresponsibility became someone else’s responsibility. It can get old.
We’re Talented at Making Excuses
One of our chief challenges today is we’ve gotten very experienced at making excuses. Unlike the example above, most people create elaborate reasons for their poor performance. Some work harder at excuses than execution. Over the last thirty years, psychological diagnoses have entered our common vocabulary. People who are not therapists or psychologists know terms like anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, panic attacks, bipolar disorder, you name it. Like armchair quarterbacks, we diagnose our situation. This poses some problems. First, our self-diagnoses can be inaccurate; after all, we are laymen in this field. Second, we can become victims of psychologism, a term describing an over-dependence on human diagnoses, and later makes it easier for our explanations to become excuses.
We begin to assume: if I can explain my behavior, I can excuse my behavior.
Psychologism can be sinister. It fosters a tendency to interpret events or arguments in subjective terms or to exaggerate the relevance of psychological factors. Everyday people, without expertise in behavioral science, can lean too heavily on human explanations using psychological terms. Soon, any hardship we face becomes an excuse for poor effort.
Five Ideas Leaders Can Use to Combat Excuses
1️⃣ Give them decision-making rights.
Those who make excuses often feel like victims of their circumstances. Someone created the problem they have. Leaders must keep decision-making rights at the lowest level possible, so they’ll own their situation. As authority goes up, IQ goes down. This means as we climb the ladder, we are further away from the daily grind. Everyone wins if leaders tell others: “you can make this choice.” It’s hard for anyone to feel like a victim when they made the decision.
2️⃣ See yourself as working for your team, not vice versa.
Many people are indeed victims of a sub-optimal past. Victim mindsets, however, don’t help anyone, and cause staff to focus on themselves. Instead of seeing your team as people who work for you, go to work for them. See yourself as an advocate and supporter who serves them. When they recognize this, they’re more apt to reciprocate and work harder for the organization.
3️⃣ Put a “win” under their belt.
Victim mindsets lead to excuses that are largely due to “learned helplessness.” This is a term from Dr. Martin Seligman, who noticed people tend to give up when they feel their effort makes no difference. When leaders put a “win” under the belt of their team members, it can foster “learned industriousness,” which sparks more effort. Find ways to reveal their progress to them.
4️⃣ Help them choose their bucket well.
Everything we experience fits into one of three buckets: it is in my control, it is out of my control or it is within my influence. Our response must reflect where each experience belongs. Bucket one experiences prompt us to stop blaming others or making excuses and to take responsibility. Bucket two experiences force us to trust others. Bucket three situations prompt us to act wisely.
5️⃣ Remind them of the advantages and benefits they enjoy that others don’t.
It’s tough to maintain a victim mindset when we see someone else in worse condition than we are in. All through last year when I felt frustrated with a minor problem, I’d remind myself: “I am not in the Ukraine.” Leaders must find ways to empathize with the plight of victims who make excuses, then point out the advantages they enjoy that others don’t. We all need perspective.
George Washington Carver wisely noted, “Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” Mason Cooley added, “Excuses change nothing, but make us feel better.” Let’s stop being satisfied with feeling better and actually get better. When my friend Don Yaeger and I discussed this topic, he reminded me of his one-on-one basketball game against Michael Jordan. Don said the best part came afterward. Michael told Don, “A loss is not a failure until you make excuses.” When excuses are no longer an option you can focus your attention on the job you have to do, and not why it didn’t get done.”