Helping Gen Z Employees Learn to Be Team Players
Years ago, one of our department heads hired someone right out of college. He learned quickly that there’s a trade-off when fresh graduates join the team. On the one hand, they often bring new ideas, energy and creativity. On the other, these grads have often never worked a full-time job and may not know how to be a team player. That was the case with Tracy (not her real name).
Tracy fit the mold for the Generation Z demographic. She’d grown up with smart technology, she struggled with anxiety, she felt strongly about social justice, she wanted to have a voice instantly and she distrusted the “establishment,” all of which made her prone to “speak truth to power.” If she felt something or someone was wrong, she wasn’t afraid to say so. Within her first few months, we watched Tracy sabotage herself:
She publicly disagreed with our president on a Zoom call, implying he didn’t know what he was talking about. It felt disrespectful to the team.
She didn’t seem to recognize professional behavior and frequently acted like she was still in a college residence hall. It felt immature to the team.
She’d submit projects along with colleagues, and defend why hers was superior, even when teammates disagreed with her. It felt selfish to the team.
While none of these missteps are horrific, her very presence brought discord to her team. Disagreeing with an executive or defending your work is acceptable on our team, but how she did it vividly displayed she didn’t know how to “play well with others.” Like millions from Gen Z, she needed to learn to be a team player.
Learning to Sacrifice What I Want for What I Need
A look at the data on Generation Z members reveals they are strongly individualistic (note the variety of terms for gender preference), they desire self-expression (check out their tattoos) and they’ve been conditioned to learn alone on a screen (think Covid-19 quarantines). They’re different from Millennials and often require supervisors to teach them teamwork. They long to be part of a community, but many don’t know how to experience it.
Consider this fact. Inside of every human being, there are two desires:
I want to be me.
I want to belong.
Maturation is the process of balancing these two desires so that we can maximize our joy and meaning in life while also succeeding on a team. Like all teens, Gen Z felt the strong tug inside called, “I want to be me.” They wear unorthodox clothing, they pierce parts of their bodies and tattoo other parts seeking to make a statement about the unique person they are. As people age, however, we recognize how much we need others to be complete. We need other’s support, advice, talent, listening ear, food, products, money, help, etc. Eventually, we acknowledge we want to belong to someone or to some community. The tug of war occurs until we find a place of contentment. We learn that we must sacrifice some of our self-centered desires to gain something greater. This does not mean we demand they surrender their sense of identity. Quite the opposite, it requires them to be who they are but on behalf of a greater community or team. Research psychologist Brené Brown explains there is a difference between fitting in and belonging.
Fitting in requires a person to compromise who they are to blend in with others.
Belonging desires a person to embody who they are but to benefit others.
So being a team player doesn’t mean your identity changes, but your perspective changes. You play the cards you have in your hand (your gifts, your personality, your unique role) and do so to benefit the team’s progress. I recently spoke to a Gen Zer who asked me if I felt he needed to compromise on an opinion he had regarding a department project. I told him: “I know you feel strongly about expressing your opinions. If you can do so in a collaborative manner, go for it. It’s likely, however, you’ll need to sacrifice what you want (call it individualism) for what you need (which is community).”
Psychologists teach the “social identity theory,” which reminds us we’re meant to belong to a group. We are social creatures who only flourish when living and serving within a community. Globally today, however, more people than ever travel alone, dine alone, and live alone. Trends now show we are drifting away from an essential community. I believe work teams can play a role in defeating this trend.
Strategies That Enable Gen Zers to be Team Players
1️⃣ Discuss this truth about humanity’s social contract.
If it’s helpful, use this information to launch a conversation about the perks and price of participating in the social contract. You might use a whiteboard and list two columns, one containing the benefits of collaboration and community, and the other the benefits of going alone. Believe it or not, our world is experiencing a “loneliness pandemic.” We know we need other people, but we’re determined to avoid the hassle other people bring when they enter our world. We’ve all heard the phrase, “If you want to go faster, travel alone. If you want to go further, travel together.” Discuss what they value most and what you value most.
2️⃣ Assign a task that requires them to ask for help.
One of the best remedies for both loneliness and individualism is to give the person a task that they cannot do alone; one that requires them to approach teammates for help. Each of us are designed to be part of something bigger than ourselves, and I believe many young adults have not experienced that yet. To be honest, I‘m convinced most people want to be part of something that’s very important and almost impossible. Why not force the issue and give them an assignment that’s too big for them and watch them collaborate?
3️⃣ Teach them there is such a thing as “duty.”
For all that we “want to do,” there will be some “ought to do” activities we must embrace. If this is their first full-time job, you may need to host this conversation. I’ve met members of Gen Z who feel they shouldn’t have to do something that compromises what they want to do. This sentiment is nothing short of immature. Remind them of the “duties” other team members perform that the entire team (including them) benefit from. Help them see the larger benefits of belonging. When we’re selfish, we usually lose more than we gain.
4️⃣ Explain Pyrrhic Victories.
A Pyrrhic victory occurs when someone wins an argument but loses more than they gain. This centuries old term comes from King Pyrrhus. When his army defeated an enemy, he was congratulated on his victory. He replied, “One more such victory and I shall be lost.” These victories happen daily at work and at home when we win a battle but lose a war. We debate customers, spouses and colleagues due to our egos and fail to see we may lose a relationship. Teach Gen Z to ask: Is this issue worth debating? Why do I want to win? What will it cost me to insist on my own way? Avoiding Pyrrhic victories can save a team.
5️⃣ Ask them: If everyone lived the way you do, what kind of world would we have?
When selfish moods arise, imagine the world if all of us lived this way all the time. Have them describe the way they truly want to live, then visualize what the team would look like if every person lived that way. Discuss it. Show them that the best life is one of support and accountability. Retaining these communities of support and accountability deepens our happiness, diminishes our loneliness and increases our sense of purpose.
The Value of Seeing the Big Picture
“Individuals win trophies, but teams win championships.”
It’s the power of participating in something bigger than us that offers meaning. As I write this, I’m on a flight from Manilla to Tokyo. It’s about 10:00 am, we’ve just enjoyed our breakfasts, and a flight attendant is now making her rounds asking each person to close their window shades so that others can sleep. It wasn’t bedtime, but I watched each passenger kindly lower their shade on behalf of others. Not one person refused, demanding their individual right to look out the window, even though they had that right. Call it a collective sense of community we each felt. “I want to belong” trumped “I want to be me.”
Years ago, I heard the story of four young men who chose to climb a snowy mountain in the Alps. As they ascended the mountain, they faced a strong wind that turned into a blizzard. It was too much for one of them. The freezing temperatures got the best of him, and he fell into the snow, unconscious. The other three debated what to do, and two of them concluded they had to go on. They would all freeze to death if they didn’t continue to the other side of the mountain. The fourth climber would not leave his friend to die in the snow. So, while the other two marched ahead, he placed his buddy on his shoulders and climbed more slowly. Hours later, he found the two who insisted on moving faster lying in the snow. They had frozen to death. The fourth climber had actually saved his own life, by carrying his friend and benefiting from his body heat. Both were spared.
These kinds of sacrifices and compromises mark the power of belonging. I wish Tracy could have learned this life lesson. As the founder of our organization, I met with her and kindly shared how we work as a team, that there are better ways to disagree with someone than to attack or avoid them, and that our culture is one of collaboration. I worked to be as gentle as possible, but, alas, it was not enough. Tracy complained to our HR department that I had offended her and denied her the right to be herself. It was at that point that I knew Tracy did not fit on our team and we crafted her exit plan. It was sad because it was unnecessary. Let’s help Gen Z sacrifice what they may want for what they need. Our future depends on it.